I played for the first time on Saturday afternoon, which Kicked. My. Butt. And I loved every minute of it!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
So I cried when I got to the top, and I'm not sure if I was crying from exhaustion or for Dinah -- I'm sure it was a little of both. We spent about an hour at the top for lunch and a brief memorial.
So I'm back safe and sound, though I managed to fall into a little pit of despair these last couple days. I made it through Monday and Tuesday without crying for Dinah (two whole days out of the last three weeks), and then fell off the wagon yesterday and today. I know it's been almost three weeks, but I just miss her so much and sometimes the reality that she's gone hits me like a truck. I guess the comeback trail is kinda bumpy.
Anyway, school starts on Monday and I already have 400 pages to read BEFORE then (wtf?). I'm hoping the outrageous workload will help pull me forward through this lingering grief. I also hope it will return my inner blogger so I can post something interesting soon. I'll try to get back to commenting, too.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Yesterday, Rocky was out on the deck while I mowed the lawn...and talked to him out loud about Dinah. My neighbors must think I'm nuts. In just under six weeks, I've become The Crazy Dog Lady of the trailer park.
Tomorrow, I'm headed to Colorado to spread some of Dinah's ashes with the person who gave her to me. I think it will bring some much-needed closure, but mostly I am looking forward to getting a hug from someone who knows me -- and knew her.
So, I'm still going to be spotty on blogging/commenting...I hope to be back to full power next week.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
So this is what I'm working on this weekend -- refueling and rehydrating. I've already gained a pound back! (Who would've thought I'd be celebrating THAT?) I'd really like to be able to go for a run, but after cramping up on a simple walk with my other dogs yesterday, I know that I need to get my cells back in order first.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
My goodness...where to begin? I have received so much caring and compassion these last few days -- words fail me. I am so amazed by the power of the bonds I have made from what started out as a "fun little blog." I knew it would be a source of support for tri stuff...but who knew how incredibly vital it would be at a time of such personal need?
As you can see from the clip (big ups to Mary Beth and Leah for sending it), I am beginning (with the babiest steps) to re-emerge. This is because of all of you. Today I had an incredible conversation with Megan who, frankly, gave me some free therapy, but more importantly gave of herself to help me bear my burden. She was able to help me make sense of and acknowledge just how much is connected with Dinah's death. I am so grateful to have connected with someone who is walking a similar path -- no accident, I'm sure.
I also have to say a special thanks to Wendy. She has experienced similar losses recently, and when I reached out, she reached right back.
Of course, you all know what a big heart Duane has. He and his family have been sending love my way even before I signaled my need.
Last, but not least, to everyone else who cried with me, made me laugh, or just let me know they were there...my heart overflows. You have refilled my tanks full enough to pay it forward, and I will absolutely pay it back, should the need arise.
At first glance, it seemed I was all alone to deal with this loss. How very, very wrong I was.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Some friends she left behind, who are comforting me.
One thing that I've been finding helpful is to be able to talk about Dinah. I won't do too much of that here, but I wanted to share just one thing with all of you, and that is today's song. It's called "Dinah" by Thelonious Monk, and it is the song she was named for. It so perfectly captures her little personality and they way she would prance and trot around. The end of the song is particularly moving (and I sort of anticipated when I used it to name her that it would signify this goodbye). If you listen all the way to the end, you can hear her little spirit take flight and wink at you.
Well, here's my tag-a-docious:
Jobs I’ve Held
Movie theater concessions
Sales associate at San Francisco Music Box Co
Summer camp director
White House staffer
Public Information Officer
Community college instructor
Movies I Can Watch Over & Over
Forrest GumpMy Guilty Pleasures
Falling asleep on the sofa
Places I Have Lived (in order)
Benicia, CA (x2)
Antioch, CA (x2)
Suisun City, CA
Rohnert Park, CA
Las Cruces, NM (x2)
Iowa City, IA
Shows I Enjoy
The Daily Show / The Colbert Report
America’s Next Producer
On the Lot
E! True Hollywood anything
My Life on the D-List
Sex and the City
Places I Have Been on Vacation
Houston, TX-New Orleans-Biloxi road trip
Many places in New Mexico and California
Las Vegas, NV
Kansas-Iowa-Nebraska-Missouri road trip
New York, NY
Anything with cheese, bacon, garlic, butter – stuff that will kill me
Avocado smoothies (better than they sound)
Websites I Visit Daily
My tri-blogger peeps
…And now, my Dinah (I created a private blog for when I need to talk to her)
Body Parts I Have Injured
Torn right hamstring from a botched cheerleading stunt in college
Separated right shoulder mountain biking
Many sprained fingers from basketball and colorguard
Awards You’ve Won
A couple leadership awards
Three-time “Miss Supersensational” at colorguard camp (is that a hilarious title, or what?)
Dean’s fellowship at UI
A shoebox full of track and field ribbons and medals from childhood
Dean’s list/honor society stuff
Nicknames You’ve Been Called
Krissy (my full name is Kristina)
Some “honey” terms with varying degrees of jest
Pick 5 Other Bloggers (sorry peeps, gotta share the wealth)
Monday, August 6, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
When I rounded the corner and saw yet another big hill ahead of me, I knew that Triowa and Fergie were now in cahoots (though the weather was PERFECT). I weighed the time I'd lose against the energy I'd save by walking. I began walking up the hills.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
- I am prepared to start the training plan (which starts Monday).
- I am not, repeat NOT, shooting for 4:00 (my uber-runner neighbor from NM who's been running for 22 years only recently cleared this time), I'm just looking to finish...under six hours would be nice.
- My childhood friends who married each other live there and are hosting me!
- Ana might even run this with me! (no pressure...wink) It will be like first period freshman PE all over again!
- One of their friends (and therefore, one of mine) has a HOT TUB!
Now for the mushy sentiment:
One of the other reasons I decided to go ahead with this instead of waiting for a local race in the spring is because I kind of see it as a homecoming.
I spent the first 20 years of my life about 40 minutes away from Sacramento, and though I haven't lived in CA for over ten years, it's still part of me. It also occupies a place and time in my life when I was still athletic and active -- and thought I'd always be. And since my 32nd birthday is in December, it will also be a gift to myself...like I'm getting my old self back.
And did I mention the hot tub?
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Why, oh why, are these two dogs smooshed together on this pillow? I have bought each of them beds large enough to hold them individually. In fact, The Boots (right) has a luxurious new crate just for her. Why is she tolerating Rocky's sidling (left)?
What on earth is going on here?