Yes, I did this race for the T-shirt. Yes, I do a little dance to this song. If you want my real stand on Fergie, check out my other blog. And yes, I did this race as part of an evil scheme to shamelessly kick off my other blog. (All right, that's three links in a row. CLICK 'EM, dangit!)
Now back to the race report.
Lesson # 1: You should never, EVER badmouth a race's namesake before the event (told you I was shameless). She paid me back, but good. :(
Start Line: Fergie Strikes Back
As the runners gathered at the start line, there were four girls holding pace signs to organize us. FOUR signs: 5 min, 6 min, 7 min, 8 min. THAT'S IT. No "9-plus" or "walkers." Nope. About half the field looked at each other and joked about how many more signs they needed. Self-deprecating, yes. Indignant? Maybe a little.
Mile 1: They Chose the Wrong Name
(I don't have splits because the mileage wasn't marked on the course.) Sure, I know the girls wanted to honor their coach by naming the race for him (kinda), but they should've called it the Dolly Parton 5K because this course had some of the biggest hills I've encountered in a road race. Though I started feeling good and strong, there were three big hills in the first mile alone -- which I ran up -- that kicked my butt. (Dammit Fergie!)
Mile 2 (I guess): Mini Hills of Death
When I rounded the corner and saw yet another big hill ahead of me, I knew that Triowa and Fergie were now in cahoots (though the weather was PERFECT). I weighed the time I'd lose against the energy I'd save by walking. I began walking up the hills.
When I rounded the corner and saw yet another big hill ahead of me, I knew that Triowa and Fergie were now in cahoots (though the weather was PERFECT). I weighed the time I'd lose against the energy I'd save by walking. I began walking up the hills.
Lesson #2: Head for the hills. So far, I've been running on a relatively flat route -- which is easily remedied by simply making a right turn instead of a left when I start. This is just silly anyway, because I KNOW that Iowa is NOT FLAT.
Mile 3: Back to Main Street
That's all. Nothing exciting happened at the end. The runners in front of me were too far ahead to catch, so even though I picked up the pace at the end, I didn't sprint. As with most races, the runners were gathered around the finish chute and cheered heartily for every last person. I finished with a time of 38:54 -- just shy of 13:00/mile. Ugh.
Lesson #3: Seriously, take to the hills.
So...this was a fun little race. Even though the hills were a bit of a grunt-fest, it was a fun course and West Branch is a lovely town. I'll definitely hit this one up again next year --I've set the bar pretty low for improvement.
Oh yeah...did I mention I have another blog? :D
5 comments:
Oh, but why does it need to be named after Dolly when Fergie has her humps?
Have you SEEN the SIZE of Dolly's?! There are "lovely lady lumps" around my house. This course was Dolly Parton, all the way. :D
Hey Krissy! You look pretty hot Simpsonized! Hubba hubba!
Every time you run, go faster if to prove nothing other than spelling out words in a song does not make you a winner. Kicking that person's ass, that makes you a winner. That and being superduper.
Any race that get's the nickname gruntfest is a SAAAA-WEEEEET race. nice and challenging. Congrats for coming in under 40:00 on a harder course.
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