Thursday, August 23, 2007

A Sunny Place at the Top

A week ago today, I spread some of Dinah's ashes at the summit of Bear Peak outside Boulder, CO. (It's the pointy peak on the left -- elevation 8461 feet.)

She always liked laying in the sun, and on this peak she will have plenty of sun and a gorgeous 360-degree view. And she'll apparently have visitors year-round!

I have to say, this was a TOUGH hike. Climbing 3000 feet in 3.5 miles was made worse by by the utter lack of oxygen (I've been at 650 feet for the last eight weeks). Good grief!

So I cried when I got to the top, and I'm not sure if I was crying from exhaustion or for Dinah -- I'm sure it was a little of both. We spent about an hour at the top for lunch and a brief memorial.
Of course, going up was the "easy" part. My legs trembled the entire way down. I worried that my legs would buckle and I'd take a nasty fall. Happily (though "luckily" is probably more accurate), I made it back and even managed to _run_ (wha-!?!) the last two minutes to the car to make it back before 3:00.

So I'm back safe and sound, though I managed to fall into a little pit of despair these last couple days. I made it through Monday and Tuesday without crying for Dinah (two whole days out of the last three weeks), and then fell off the wagon yesterday and today. I know it's been almost three weeks, but I just miss her so much and sometimes the reality that she's gone hits me like a truck. I guess the comeback trail is kinda bumpy.

Anyway, school starts on Monday and I already have 400 pages to read BEFORE then (wtf?). I'm hoping the outrageous workload will help pull me forward through this lingering grief. I also hope it will return my inner blogger so I can post something interesting soon. I'll try to get back to commenting, too.


Duane said...

Krissy, I've been worried sick about you! I'm glad you're back and I'm relieved. But I am sorry to hear about your sadness :-(

Big hug and we luv ya! Please let Meg know you're okay too.

Wendy said...

Yeah, it's bumpy alright. And people have to move along that particular trail at their own speeds.

Take good care of yourself.

Megan said...

Wow, that really is a big a big mountain! I had no idea, so props for conquering it!

Grieving is a huge process, and it happens in stages, and sometimes the stages are not as neat as we would like them to be. It sounds like you know what to do to keep yourself safe and sane, and I hope you keep doing it (blogging, talking to friends, calling me....:) Hang in there.

Brent Buckner said...

All the best on the comeback trail.

Hope the school year ahead offers what you were looking for.

Anonymous said...

I've been worried about you too! I am glad you are back and that you were able bring Dinah to a beautiful place...keep letting those tears out and don't fret about a timeline. Oh and um..perhaps you should skim through some of those pages, I mean come on, 400?!?!

Keep taking care of yourself, I'm thinking about you everyday!