Labor Day

This is it.

Win or lose. Official finisher or DNF. I will not be broken.

Track my progress here. I am Athlete #813.

In the Land of Ali...and Tanlines

TThe beauty of being in Muhammad Ali's hometown is that there is a moment on the run -- just one block, just before heading out for the second lap -- where I will run on Muhammad Ali Blvd. What a great way to recharge! (That and the cruel irony of running us within yards of the finish line before sending us out for another 13 miles.) You can bet I'll be tapping into that block-long pool of Go! to get myself to the finish line!

On a completely unrelated note: tans and tanlines.

You can usually tell who the athletes are at these things because not only are they trim and fit, but they also sport some golden skin. A key indicator that I hadn't trained enough last year besides my soft body: I showed up pasty on race day. This year, I not only have a myriad of tanlines on my back from various sport tanks, I also have race numbers emblazoned on my arms from my last race (apparently Marks-A-Lot is SPF 8).

Race numbers: the triathlete's temporary tattoo.

The Groove in My Heart

I think I listened to this song about 18 Go!-zillion times on the drive here...will probably belt it out on the course, too. (Click the title to hear a sample.)

I Will Survive
Stephanie Bentley

excerpt:

I've gotta be strong
Teardrops no one sees but me
I won't stop, 'cause I'll always believe

I will survive, I will endure
When the goin's rough
You can be sure
I'll tough it out, I won't give in
If I'm knocked down, I'll get up again
As long as my dream's alive
I will survive

. . .

Going for a practice swim with Mary Sunshine tomorrow morning to get a feel for the current. Will take a bath tonight to relax/visualize/meditate...then off to bed.

Peas.

Something More Important Than Courage

Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of my life.

Road Trip!

Alrighty -- my dad and I are hitting the road. I will be updating while in Kentucky...stay tuned.

Keep Going

As the single digits of the race countdown dwindle away, my emotions are all over the road. I have cried a lot this week. Like, A LOT. Yes, I admit that I am scared. And I admit that I am afraid to admit that. I've been thinking that if I voice my fear, it would be like some sort of jinx, or a concession to defeat, or a sign that I just don't want it enough.

And then I got my Triathlete magazine today. Scott Tinley's essay this month was titled "Embracing the Fear." Money quote:

"While athletes know the calming effect of an easy run or a hard swim, fear is a pervasive emotion within most sports. This is not necessarily an unhealthy phenomenon. Sport offers a kind of malleable tension that can both thrill and kill, excite and indict our senses with an anxiety that leaves us somewhere between satiated and starving. ... I'd like to think that sport allows us to mediate our fears based not upon our failures but upon our dreams."

Single digits to race day...here's where the vanity of chasing a dream like this gives way to the One Thing. Yes, I am afraid to fail again. But I am more afraid of not having the guts to stay in it mentally. I am afraid that this fear that I am experiencing now might be my undoing on the course. What will keep me going on race day when my mind and body attempt to talk me out of it?

So I searched for my posts that I labeled "The One Thing." Here's what I came up with:

• Stephanie May, reminding me that the feeling of digging down to one's deepest limits is amazing even in defeat -- and ultimately makes the defeat itself something of a misnomer.
• From last year: "I think I've found it: Triathlon lets me experience the joys of independence and self-reliance. It also helps me confront my despair at the thought of feeling alone in the world. It lets me know that if I ever were alone in the world -- I can handle it. I can keep pedaling, keep breathing, keep going. I can also find friends on the road who are like-minded and supportive -- strangers who will give me a "Stay strong, Krissy" when I need it most."
• From Friday: "Alas, there is nothing more to be done now. All I can do is keep moving, keep pedaling, keep my legs going..."

Then there was this odd rambling about the marathon movie in which I am dismissive of the fact that I completed 26.2 miles on foot -- running every step. "But all I did that day was show up and keep going," I say, as though it were some easy thing. (I don't know what possessed me to write that because I remember that it wasn't until mile 24 or 25 that I knew I would finish.)

Given the theme above, it should come as no surprise that the climax of Hillary Clinton's speech last night made me cry:
"On that path to freedom, Harriet Tubman had one piece of advice: 'If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the torches in the woods, keep going. If there’s shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.'"

Clearly, all of this taps into my One Thing.

. . .

So I think I am ready for The Talk:

There are a lot of people whose eyes will be on me. I've told so many people what I'm doing. I want my daddy to see me cross the finish line. I've got a chip on my shoulder from last year. NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

I am KrissyGo! The person I am KEEPS GOING. If I can move, I can move forward. I may walk multiple times on the course, but I will not walk off of it. Not of my own volition. Why? Because I feel most alive, most spiritually awake when I am GOING, EXPERIENCING, setting goals BEYOND MY REACH, chasing those goals, sometimes achieving them, sometimes failing, entering into some endeavor with NO IDEA of what the outcome will be and finding satisfaction in simply having the guts to do anything in the first place, but always ALWAYS present in every moment knowing that I have LIVED my life.


Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.

~Eddie Rickenbacher

One Last Summer Indulgence

Good golly, I heart me some Grease 2. It appears that everyone deals with these last days to race day in some strange ways. Apparently mine is to load up on the CHEESE! Exhibit A: last week's Britney-fest. Exhibit B: see clip above.

Anyway, school starts tomorrow, which is the "real" reason for the clip (sure it is).

I'm excited, which is a good sign, even though I've got a pretty full plate this semester. Either way, though, I think I need to band up with some Pink Ladies so we can pledge to act cool, to look cool, and to beeeeeee cool.